Don't try and be polite. Sound crazy or sound tough.

Modern Family

“I am brave. Scary movies? I’ve seen Ghostbusters like 7 times. Roller coasters? Love ‘em. I regularly drive through neighborhoods that have only recently been gentrified. So yeah I’m pretty much not afraid of anything."

I love it when my favorite comedies and PA classes collide.

Mark Weaver

From his Make Something Cool Everyday (MSCED) project

http://cargocollective.com/markweaver

(Thanks Dylan for showing me this stuff.)

Everyday Superhero

I love Apple.

My story starts last August - when my computer screen started briefly flashing white (due no doubt to the terrible way I travel with my mac shoved in my backpack). The problem has gotten progressively worse, so I finally made a Genius Bar appointment.

I went in at 2:30, found that I needed a new screen, was informed they had the needed part at the store (!), that the technician could get it done by 5pm, and that it would typically cost 600 dollars but it would be free because of my three year Apple Care Protection plan (thank God I bought that).

Picked up my 1/2 new laptop at 5.

Piece of cake.

High Five

Sometimes I wait around too long for a truth that I already knew.

Praise God for his powerful healing and the blessings he gives me daily.

Cape Town

Please work out. Please please please please.

anxiety

Swifter

Talking to a wise friend tonight reminded me of my dusty aspirations. I think its time I wiped them off and brought them out, remembering in the meanwhile that this is life. Its happening right now. What do I want that to consist of? What happened to creativity, an optimistic spirit, or self-motivation? Lets stop making plans and start making things happen. Timidity is for life in greyscale. I want to experience vibrance and color.

I pray for a present-minded heart. & for believing in making things possible again.

To Read:

I just read about two amazing women: Dervla Murphy and Isabella Bird. From different centuries, both traveled the world to places that were deemed too dangerous for such female independence. They have written about their travels and I am dying to read their books.

First of the "must-read" list:

Bird's A Lady's Life in the Rocky Mountains (1879)

and

Murphy's Full Tilt: Ireland to India With a Bicycle (1965)

Dervla Murphy

Ms. Bird

Reminiscing

Daisy May Erlewine

I just adore her music, lyrics, and sound.

Come on empty, at a bad time
Oh wont you, stand by my side
And I need someone, to let in the light
Someone to grab hold

And hold on tight

And I feel ok when I'm looking inside
But there's still something sucking me dry
And I need someone I can talk to
Someone to tell me straight and true

How can I make it right?
Be like the sun, born to shine
In a world full of sorrow and pain
How can I renew again?

And I tell ya about the damage done
Nobody thought to think before the axe was swung
And I know I've done my share of taking for granted something that was there

And I'll tell you something
I sure am scared
Of that big ol' nothing
Looming out there
And I need something that I can hold
Something sacred, and something old

http://www.earthworkmusic.com/daisyMay/

Leslie Caron

my weekend plans:

1. THIS

2. Rosie Thomas Show

3. Hang out with VAL who is in town from Chicago.

Movies I Need to See.

Focus Feature Films:

1. A SERIOUS MAN
2. 9
3. TAKING WOODSTOCK
4. THIRST

5. AWAY WE GO

6. THE LIMITS OF CONTROL
7. SIN NOMBRE
8. CORALINE
9. MILK
10. BURN AFTER READING
11. HAMLET 2
12. MISS PETTIGREW LIVES FOR A DAY
13. IN BRUGES
14. ATONEMENT
15. RESERVATION ROAD
16. LUST, CAUTION
17. EASTERN PROMISES
18. EVENING
19. TALK TO ME
20. CATCH A FIRE
21. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
22. PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
23. THE CONSTANT GARDENER
24. BROKEN FLOWERS
25. MOTORCYCLE DIARIES
26. ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
27. 21 GRAMS
28. LOST IN TRANSLATION
29. SWIMMING POOL
30. THE PIANIST
31. FAR FROM HEAVEN

If I had a Y chromosome I would rock this.

Boys note: this jacket is hot.

Its almost a hoodie, but its not - its a leather jacket.

Perforated leather jacket.

Broken Promises (a rant)

"I am disappointed beyond words that the State of Michigan cannot keep its
commitment to you."

Says GVSU's president Haus in a "personalized" email to me around lunchtime today. The one year I receive my $2000 for taking all those MEAP tests in middle & high school is gone. Why? - because Michigan legislature thinks that it is a good idea to cut one of the only good ideas our state has had in the past several years. In her last state of the state address, Governor Jenny brags about how the state is helping students.

"All [high school students] are eligible for a $4,000 Michigan Promise
scholarship that puts a college degree within the reach of every student. ...
That’s progress."

Apparently we are taking steps backward on the path of progress. Didn't Jenny threaten higher institutions of learning about raising their tuition? That they were responsible to meet the needs of hurting families in this time of economic crisis?

"First, as we accelerate our push to get more kids to college, we cannot have
them priced out of the market by tuition increases. I am asking Michigan’s
universities and community colleges to freeze tuition for the next academic
year. No tuition hikes during this year of economic crisis."

What of the states responsibility to students? Supposedly "education and training" is the second most important assets of Michigan's "battle plan" toward a better economy. Well, legislature is doing a great job on that one - cutting university funding, cutting student's already earned and PROMISED scholarships, and allowing back-door ways for universities to raise tuition (adding "fees" to every credit hour, wtf Grand Valley?).

As of today, I immediately owe GV a $2000 check. I am covering my state's ass while continuing to pay them taxes, which they can irresponsibly budget and allocate to other area's to satisfy our whiney baby boomers.

Yusuf Islam

or Steven Demetre Georgiou
or Cat Stevens

This song brightens my rainy days.

We meet again, Grand Valley State.

Name - Heather Quandt

Age - 20 (ouch.)

Goals for the semester:

-decide if I am graduating early or snagging a minor

-make concrete study abroad plans

-get a 3.7 GPA

-run a 5k

(Subject to change)

this isn't me anymore

I am not the person I was in highschool - talking to old friends makes me realize that, and also appreciate that.

The 30 yr old Cat Lady Phobia.

In the last week or so, I have been realizing that there is life post-college. Now this may sound strange coming from someone who has at least a year left at university, but I guess I was picturing the boring 9 to 5 job, the typical single-woman condo, and the inability to meet anyone new. Weird phobia? Perhaps.

Anyways, God has really been opening up my eyes to see all the amazing freedoms graduation gives a person, of the numerous opportunities I have in that period of my life, and the ability to ignore that 9 to 5 lifestyle and get out there and go!

Recent bucket list additions: 

- get my wilderness EMT at SOME point in my life, either that or my nursing degree.

- spend a semester in the backcountry

- backpack south america

Praise God for his beautiful creation, for youth and health, and for opportunity.

Soccer Mom

My mom is out of commission due to some surgery she underwent on Monday morning. Where does this leave me? How about driving kids to school in the minivan, making lunches in the little brown paper bags, cleaning the house, walking the dog, buying the groceries and running the errands. Can I tell you how exhausted I am? 

As college students we often complain about the late nights of writing papers, or the huge exams that we sacrifice our friday nights to study for - but this whole taking-care-of-kids thing is beyond that. 

Its mediocre, its mundane, and no one ever looks up to a woman for the way she drives her kids to soccer practice. Its not a profession or a career - its expected and unexceptional, life and love. I guess what I'm saying is that this little practice-run of mommyhood has given me some new perspective and regard for the mothers in my life. These woman are strong and devoted, and deserve some respect.

Go hug your mom, its mother's day on Sunday.

Mr. Golden Sun, please shine down on me!

Wake up at a ridiculously late hour, make bed, check email,  take dog running, shower,  change into new scrubs, clean up house, hang out with family, eat dinner, facebook, play wii, read Bible, watch hulu, fall asleep at a ridiculously late hour, repeat.

My life as a bum for the past few days. 

My mom says its good that I am "relaxing" one week of the year, but I am about to die from lack of activity. I can't wait until the sun comes out so that I can shoot film or do lawn work. Or even until next Monday when I actually have things to do. I think I will fully embrace filling in my mom's shoes while she is recovering from her surgery. Carpool at 8 in the morning will never have felt so good.

Odds & Ends

Collected images thrown together - inspiring bits and pieces.

Praise

God is throwing a lot of inspiration my way right now - and I say "keep it comin". I can't wait until I'm done with school and have a month to spend reading, writing, praying, shooting... it is going to be fantastic! One more final.

Crazy Hair Day

Procrastination in the library.

The Bride

Dear Church,
You are not the authority on everything that is of God.
My tithe doesn't necessarily have to fall in your offering plate.
I don't have to be a Republican to be a Christian, and I don't have to think that "The Purpose Driven Life" is the next best thing since french toast sticks.
The projector screen is not necessarily the best thing to happen to worship since Psalms.
If someone has had an abortion, it doesn't make them a monster.
Even though I didn't spend my high school years in youth group - it doesn't mean I spent them binge drinking, doing drugs, and sleeping around.
Stop being so terrified of homosexuality - Jesus loves them, too. We aren't above anyone else.

1 Corinthians 13:13 doesn't mention judgement, liability, or politics -

"The greatest of these is LOVE."

Will your idle talk reduce men to silence?

I have a lot to say lately...

but not necessarily through words.

How long does it take jello to set?

Watch the movie "Fur" while you are at it.

I love Diane Arbus.

Stare at the outcasts, bring them to center stage, make the world remember those they would like to forget.

Feed me inspiration - not knowledge and facts.

Regret to Inform You

I had a lot of good things to contemplate today... but I forgot my journal on my desk, so now they are forever lost in the abyss of my brain. 

Crazy Talk

As I sit in PLS 102 and completely ignore my prof , while surfing the net and checking my email, I realize that I pay hundreds of dollars to listen to this man talk to me about Congress. I am beginning to think I should actually try and learn something. Maybe leave the macbook at home.

Facebook

Since I am lacking mostly any willpower - I am giving up random facebooking for lent. It is now only allowed for fifteen minutes each day. Which, sadly, is a big step in my social networking addiction.

Warm-up

It's funny how juxtaposed, skewed, and mixed up my impressions of myself are.

..I usually like to think that I am humble, but then I get mad at those are aren't "as humble as me". 

..I throw pity parties for myself when I am stressed, only to remember that everyone is stressed and I should not feel victimized because of it - its a part of life.

..I think my life is "so bad" sometimes - I have a house, my health, and friendship. If you think about it, how many people across our broken world can say the same thing?

Sorry Charlie.

I realize that my last two posts have been kind of whiney and boring. I apologize. I plan on writing something worthwhile soon.

A List

• I am a paper-writing machine.
• My googlereader is screaming at me because I haven't had time to read anything this week.
• I hate psychology. God made my mind complex for a reason - and I prefer to leave it up to others to try and decode the mysteries of the brain.
• I learned how to use a meat slicer today. Turns out an ape could do it.
• Rock climbing makes me sore.
• I pick fights with my best friend when I am crabby.
• I am going home this weekend - and super excited.
• Spring break is fuzzy - but what can go wrong if I'm with people I love?
• This blog entry is really just an excuse to not write my psychology research methods proposal. I'm writing about art therapy to make things slightly interesting - if they weren't  I would probably just stick my head in the oven.
• That was morbid, I apologize for my sick humor.

2:17. Hope this post is legible.

Wow. 

My head=fried. A kind of bad feeling is when your stomach drops because when you look at your syllabus to see when you should start writing that huge paper due in a while - you see its due tomorrow. Ouch. 10 pages-6 pages=4 pages to write in the morning.

Bad idea=going to a friend's to "do homework". Even if you all are completely on board, the fact that we are together means we won't get much done because we're such goofs.

Ouch=getting out of my car at 1 in the morning and completely wiping out on the ice. And then having no one around to help me up or dust me off. I wish I was 12 years old and my mom would let me cry about it and then give me a neon band-aid. We don't even have any band-aids in our apartment, we suck. And so does the food I've been eating (pasta, toast, eggs, and more pasta) that sucks too. 

H2O continued

watch this:

A World Without Water

Water for All

The problem with my public administration class is that in order to study, I have to research public policy, global problems, and non-profit organizations - and then I just get real interested in all the issues and then really sidetracked. So something that would normally take me two hours takes at least four.

flowthefilm.com

I really really want to see this documentary. Perhaps I can add it to my list of incredibly lethargic things to do this weekend. 

If you check out the movie's blog page - back in August they featured my youtube video, The Garbage Patch, which I though was strange, I didn't know it had gained that much attention.

Anyways - don't let private corporations monopolize a life giving public resource. Companies are making money off of something that many in our world can not even afford to dig up out of the ground.

"The water and sanitation crisis claims more lives through disease than any war claims through guns." (water.org)

*stepping off soapbox, now*

Prison Break

"It was a custom at the Feast to release a prisoner, anyone the people asked for. There was one prisoner called Barabbas, locked up with the insurrectionists who had committed murder during the uprising against Rome. Pilate gave the crowd what it wanted, set Barabbas free and turned Jesus over for whipping and crucifixion."

The Message - Gospel of Mark

I am Barabbas. I am the criminal worthy of death - whose deserved punishment was instead taken on by an innocent man - the Son of God.

Furniture.

See more here.

Genius

click that button and be happy.

I Lack Coordination

I have stumbled through this entire week. Up stairs, in friendships, down stairs, through interviews, in parking lots, in school work, out of bed..
Both metaphorically, and most definitely physically.

Boyfriend.

Bret Mckenzie.

Alexander McQueen

Dead Batteries

Unlike every other day during a Michigan winter - today was not completely overcast and gray. Instead, it was only mostly cloudy; but I'll take what I can get. I decided to head to the shore with my camera and crossed my fingers for a decent sunset.

I love the lake in the winter. It is such an alien landscape... thousands of splinters and shards jut up from the frozen waves for as far as the eye can see - only to be interrupted by dangerous looking patches of smooth black ice. Its really quiet... which is something you don't really expect at the shore - no waves hitting the sand or crashing into the pier. 

I shot a few subpar photos when I was waiting for the sun to hit the horizon as a way of distracting myself from how ridiculously cold I was.

Then the sun broke through the clouds - the shards of ice like prisms, catching the bright pinks and magentas that painted the sky over the horizon.  The cold blue-gray landscape suddenly came to life, the icy terrain acting as a mirror to the sunset in the distance.

I got out my camera to take a photo and it wouldn't turn on... the battery icon blinked at me and reminded me how big an idiot I was to not charge my dSLR before taking it out to shoot.

So I was left to appreciate the beautiful and fleeting moment without hopes of capturing it on my memory card. I was forced to appreciate the here and now, and not take the transient for granted.

I was reminded that sometimes it is best to get out from behind my lens, and looks at God's creation through the eyes that he created .. the ones on my face!

Shut Up

There is a catchphrase game somewhere unbeknownst to me in my apartment that keeps telling me how many points team one and team two has. 

I am eating pineapple downtown

"My spirit is willing, but my flesh is so weak"

So my friend Val, who I love, introduced me to a worship band that I am really diggin' right now. The Glorious Unseen. Check them out.

I Know We've Heard It All Before

Prayer. It is such an immense tool that I always take for granted. God, the creator of the universe, vast beyond all measure, a force that we can never possibly understand... he calls us to talk to him. To lift up our troubles, to lift up our friends, to hand all of our fears, troubles, and needs to Him. Wow. It is mind blowing with you actually think about it.

How easy is it to take that for granted? To forget worry, forget loneliness, and stop feeling sorry for ourselves so that we can truly put our lives in Christ? Too often do we find that actually feels like a BURDEN?

This summer is right around the corner. Where does God want me? I need to pray to the Lord for wisdom and to remember that my life is not my own.

I would much rather be filling out a Toms internship app. right now than studying for a Research Methods exam.

Where O' Where

www.lightgivesheat.org

www.tomsshoes.com

www.afutureandahope.net

www.crossculturalsolutions.org

Unplug.

I need to start listening to what the Lord is revealing to me in his word, in his creation, and in the people he has blessed me with throughout life. Focus on his love, mercy, and beauty; not the negatives in life... remembering this:

"Consider it true joy my brothers, whenever you are faced with trials of any kind, because the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Storms will pass.

Yeah Man.

I'm sitting next to a couple guys who are complete "bros" in the commons.

Their conversation is making me lose faith in the entire male population.

This is what it consists of:

-French Fries

-The reason he is staying with his girlfriend - sex.

-How hot his friend's girlfriend is, but she ISN'T as hot as the girl he is cheating on her with, which for some reason is incredibly funny.

-Olive garden and how you don't even have to buy food just breadsticks.

-How his other friend should dump the girl he is dating because she "looks good from far away but up close she is ugly"

-Sex.

-Olive garden.

Now I know I shouldn't be listening to their conversation but they were talking so loud anyone within 20 yard could hear them.

I Heart Minus the Bear

Hey lets cross the sea, and get some culture.

I'm applying for Africa mission work.

Recipe for fun:

Decide to drive to TC at 8:15 at night and be on the road by 8:30. Play "would you rather games" with friends until they become so completely morbid you begin to question if you once had morals. Sleep on a couch that is actually a puzzle. Drink great coffee and leave for home during a fluffy & lazy, but steady, snowfall. Make friends at AAA. Meet three tow truck drivers. Get two flat tires. Break two rims. Call friends from high school for rides when they haven't heard from you in a year. Get animal cracker mush on your boots.  Eat Bob Evans and get home 15 hours later than planned. All while wearing the same clothes. 

Then taking a heavenly shower.

i can play my music sans headphones as loud as i want tonight when i'm sleeping and no one will get upset.

Quiet Places

In the apartment. By myself. Its lovely.

I have a list of things to do, but only if I feel like it.

Which is in general just a marvelous feeling.

Gaza

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives.

 

I prayed hard for Gaza today. Something like 1000 people died in the last twenty days or so. 50 people a day? Over a third of these casualties are children. God is sovereign but I pray for peace.

And since there's no one else around we let our hair grow long and forget all we used to know. Then our skin gets thicker from living out in the snow.

Forget It

I have a habitual faith. I was completely convicted of that this morning in church. It wasn't even really what the speaker was talking about, but God kind of set it on my heart and showed me ways in which I put Him and my faith in a box. 

I always say I need to pray more often, I need to read the Bible more, reflect more, write more ... the list is pretty long. This formula of mine, this long list of things I need to better, will it really make my faith any deeper? Don't get me wrong, I know that these are all important ways of strengthening faith, but they are only tools, and without something deeper I think they are shallow and useless.

I feel like I need to forget everything I thought I knew about my faith. I want to forget my habits and see Christ revealed in real ways. And I'm not sure that these real ways are going to fit in the "read, write, pray, repeat" ideals I currently have.

Laugh Hard

Nothing rocks more than pasta dinner with good friends (including a Chewbacca cardboard cut-out) and Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young filling in the gaps of conversation.

A re-telling of our A.T. trip to new friends who laugh at all the right moments.

A trip to the gallery to expand our creative minds.

And finally, an epic battle of Settlers of Catan, with three people I love most.

Life is hard, but I'm blessed to have people who help me walk that road.

Mehh

This is how I feel about class, school, homework, being downtown right now, professors, and the cost of books:

Don't I look good?

First Day of Class

A good verse for me, one of the most indecisive individuals alive. 

Surely as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will happen.

So I can't screw up too much decision-wise, right? 

Today is a very strange day. I feel like everything is in slow motion, and I feel completely detached from my surroundings. Very peculiar.